August 13, 2013
Hate
Sometimes I wonder if I'm depressed. I don't think I'm depresses, but I do tend to feel depressed. Between financial woes and disappointments in friends and family alike, sometimes I can't help but wonder if I'm feeling a little too down as of late. I honestly think I'm too optimistic to really be depressed...but am I?
I've been sad for too long. Yes, I am have my good days. Yes, I have my bad days. But I feel like my thoughts always wander to dark places in my head. Is that what depression is?
I feel the loss of my friends too keenly. And I spend too much time blaming TJ for my bad luck. If I hadn't chosen to be with him, I would be off somewhere in the world, wouldn't I? But I don't regret my decisions so I hate that inside I spend so much time blaming him. I hate that I spend so much time resenting Math's friendship. I hate that Popeguy is so far away from me. It's a wonder my soul feels so clouded. It's mate is on the other side of the country.
I hate this tightness I constantly feel in my chest and I hate posts like this.
scullerymaid at 2:27 p.m.