January 21, 2013
Miss Michigan
I keep trying to tell myself I'm not smiling, I'm not smiling for him, but the truth is I kind of am. He gave me a good cry once, but I think fondly of how many times we've sung to the radio in his car. He stood me up once, then chased after me for two years. I tell myself that I don't want to love him, but I still remember when I did have those feelings. The problem I think is that I don't really know him. Sure, I know his body. I remember that quite well. But where's the depth? I couldn't tell you his favorite color or favorite food or how he likes to spend his Wednesday evenings. For some reason, neither of us ever let things get that far... though we have a penchant for keeping in touch or coming together in some way. I have no doubt once I leave this place he will become my lover. The question is are we going to go beyond that with round two?
I don't know about him, but I've changed so much in the past two years. I know what I want out of a relationship now. But we must remember that I'm not the one that was scared the first go round. So I guess the questions really is whether or not he's ready to jump in this time. After this long, you'd think he knows what he wants, too.
Guess we'll see. For the most part I really try not to think about it. Because I'm not smiling for him. But I am.
scullerymaid at 12:42 a.m.