November 10, 2012
Going to sleep
For some reason, TJ decided to sleep with me last night. I think I've already mentioned that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. He has taken over the couch and I sleep in the bed. I have mixed feelings about this. Considering that we are still together even though we aren't together, it's no big deal for me to continue sleeping together. I mean, if we are still having sex...what difference does it make, you know? But last night we were hanging out with Torey and Sarah and didn't get home until three in the morning and he decided he wanted to sleep with me.
Some people tell me that I shouldn't give the goods to TJ anymore either, but in my opinion he is the one giving the goods to me. I'm a sexual creature. I have needs. It's right there for the taking. Why give it up? Soon enough TJ and I will separate anyway. Once again, is it really that big of a deal? And why do so many people care who I'm having sex with? The way I see it, I lose in their eyes either way. If I have sex with TJ, I don't respect myself. If I have sex with someone else while still living with TJ, I"m a floozy. It's just easier for me to keep it up with TJ.
Besides, it's a good way for me to transition. When I first met TJ, I thought we were just going to have a sexual relationship like all the other relationships I had been in. So I find it rather fitting that we end things as a simply sexual relationship. Everyone is so quick to give their two cents, so quick to judge, but none of them are here everyday living through what we live through. All they know is what they hear. All they know is what gets twisted. None of them are on the inside witnessing our relationship first hand and I really wish they would all back the fuck off. Mind their own fucking business. After I leave, they can swarm all they like.
But that's all a little off topic. I wonder if he's going to try and wander back in my bed again tonight. I don't care. I've always liked sleeping with people anyway.
scullerymaid at 1:45 p.m.