October 29, 2012
Red
Because of the hurricane, TJ took off work today. I thought about keeping myself locked up in the bedroom, but then decided I would not be a prisoner in my own home. So there I was sitting on one side of the couch, TJ on the other side and he kept looking over at me. At first I thought he was just looking at the cat who was curled up next to me, but when Toby pranced off, TJ was still staring my way. Finally, I got a little snippy and told him since he finds me so unattractive (one of his big arguments the other night was that he's not attracted to me at all), that there was a lovely big screen TV he could look at instead. I then tossed a few more sour words at him about his new found lack of attraction for me and tried my best to stare him down straight without breaking down into tears. Tears seem to be my frequent companion these past couple days, surprising me whenever they please. But then TJ looked back at me and told me what he said wasn't true. That he was very much attracted to me, thought I was the cutest thing. He also tried to defend himself and said the other night he was intoxicated and only said once that he was unattracted to me (though I can recall at least five references).
So as usual, I'm left wondering what his real issue is. He certainly can't break it down for me. I mean, the other night that was one of his big problems. Lack of attraction. You know what I think? He just can't handle living with other people. He can't handle spending so much time with someone.
Either way, we are still broken up and I don't really know where we are going from here. But I guess we're going to be friendly instead of hostile, which does me just fine. But if he thinks I'm going to continue cooking and cleaning, he has another thing coming.
On a win for me, he's the one that wanted to sleep separately. He's been out of my bed for two nights and already he wants back in. Hmph! We'll see about that!
scullerymaid at 4:48 p.m.