October 25, 2012

Trains

Not to keep everyone on the sad train, but do you know what's crowding my thoughts today? That when I leave this place I will most like live alone. Sleep alone. Eat alone. For me, the worst part is not having anyone to cook for. There will be no one there for me to make happy. No one to nurture. I've never lived alone before, not truly. And for over a year there has been someone in my bed.

How do you just get over that?

Sometimes I wish I could transition TJ from a boyfriend to a roommate. He's a good roommate. I could just move upstairs. Then I think about him bringing girls over and the beast inside me would gladly claw all their eyes out, and I know that I probably could not handle something like that. To think that he could be with someone else.

So where does that leave me? Now that I landed this job, my hopes of Richmond are smashed. But I don't know if I want some stranger roommate. I guess I could just get a dog. I'm going to miss living in a house though. I like having a yard and my own space. Maybe I can find a cheap house instead of an apartment.

But I have some time for all that kind of thought. Lord knows now that I found a job I still have to save up money to afford something away from here.

scullerymaid at 12:22 p.m.

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