October 13, 2012
Tobie
Got my first (and possibly only) check for subbing today. Just enough to buy some birth control and be broke again. Life is good...
But Math came over and spent the day with me. We carved pumpkins and ate Frosties from Wendy's and played with the dog she's sitting. I cooked us up some brats, broiling them in the oven, and I might just cook them that way from now on. So crispy on the outside and oh so juicy on the inside. Yum.
We talked about all the shopping we're going to do once I get this job. And, if she has trouble getting her visa (as in, she's too busy taking her sweet time about it), we said we would move in together if her boyfriend moves back to England before she's ready to go. But that would be before after Christmas if at all. My hopes are not up.
Sometimes I ask myself why it is I want to stay here so badly. Is it really love that stays my anger and keeps me here? Or is it something else. Like a sense of security. Is security more important than love? I guess either way I'm the one in love so it doesn't matter all that much. But I still question myself. What is it about a moody, non-committing man that makes me want to be here? It's the tiny tender moments I suppose, the ones always forgotten moments later. Perhaps it's those moments that keep me here a little longer, just a little longer to see.
scullerymaid at 11:13 p.m.