July 05, 2012
Jackpot
Oh goodness this has been a rough week. Between my brother and TJ, I'm surprised I haven't just lost y mind.
But at least things on the TJ front seem to be lifting. As if I would ever know. He's the king of mixed signals after all.
What is the secret of making a relationship work? It's not about fireworks, is it? Are there supposed to be fireworks and fuzzy feelings for the next 50 years? I always thought that was silly. Do people really feel that way for the rest of their lives, or does it just begin that way and then all that spark turns into a calm sort of compatibility. I used to do a lot of research on human behavior in the anthropological sense of the work and I was pretty content with the idea that love works in phases. That it grows and develops and changes. That real love isn't just about fireworks. I was content with finding someone I could be really good friends with and then just throwing some romance in there every once in awhile.
But maybe I was wrong. Maybe that's not how love works. So tell me. How do people stay together for the majority of their lives.
Last night I told TJ that I was the jackpot and everyone could see it but him. Then he turned to me, serious faced, and told me he knew I was the jackpot. How am I supposed to react to that? He's always saying one thing and then another. Does he want me in his life or not...
scullerymaid at 10:44 a.m.