March 26, 2012
Things with hearts
This has been a pretty good weekend. Due to the rain I suppose, Tj's friends didn't come over (which was a bit of a miracle) so we spent the weekend together doing a little bit of yard work and a tiny bit of cleaning- which I'm finishing up today. I don't even think we did that much arguing, though I have to admit usually our arguing consists of me getting huffy and moody. He doesn't really participate in our tifts, haha. But last night I did get a little upset with him. Every week, these people leave a bag on our porch so we can donate old clothing. Well, right before bed we were folding laundry and he was sorting out things he had decided he didn't want anymore. in the midst of that, he decided to toss out some of his old boxers. Well, while he was rummaging though his drawer, he pulled out a pair of boxers with hearts all over them. Somehow we got into a discussion about how he has never worn those boxers in his life and probably would never where them. So I told him he should just get rid of them too, but he didn't want to because "someone" gave them to him. So I might have said something along the lines of how he can get rid of the stuffed animals he keeps on his shelf from his ex along with those hideous boxers. He snapped out that he would burn them and I said storing them in the attic like a normal person would suffice. Needless to say, I did not get any pre-sleep cuddling last night. Hmph!
I'm not a naturally jealous person. I don't know why the boxers and stuffed animals suddenly bothered me, but I just know I don't want to stare at them anymore. I think this is mostly Sarah's fault, Torey's ex/on/off/again/girlfriend. She's putting thoughts in my head and I'm all of a sudden thinking that old valentine gifts have hidden cameras in them. Grrr. I'm half tempted to throw the shit up in the attic myself! But honestly, I think I have this paranoia because I'm pretty sure his ex was sending him messages last week. I can't say for sure, but one day when we were on the couch he got a text from someone that shares her first name. Paranoia, right? He hasn't seen the girl in over two years and rumor has it she's married anyway. So I don't know why I'm allowing myself to care. Besides, Zach used to message me occasionally. I have no right to be angry with TJ.
I wish we could talk about certain subjects more frankly, though. Sometimes trying to talk to him about my feelings and serious things is like trying to talk to a rock. Anything emotional and he shuts down. When he can see I'm upset, he'll try and comfort me. But as soon as I start talking about things he uncomfortable talking about, he turns away and it drives me fucking insane. If we can't talk...
Pah to it all! Hopefully tonight will be a better night.
scullerymaid at 11:45 a.m.