March 08, 2012
Blubbers
Last weekend I was a little ridiculous. On Friday, TJ and I went to this place called Cabo cafe. It's a bar that likes to pretend it has a dance floor. Anyway, a few of his friends were out there so we decided to go. Only, it was pretty late by the time we got there (though me and mine usually don't go out until late anyway) and most of the people we were meeting were done and ready to check out. A couple stragglers stayed to enjoy impossible conversation over the music, and they too left until it was just TJ and I. Now, for some reason TJ had been irking me all day last Friday. Maybe it was just my period egging me on, but everything he had to say just infuriated me. I felt like he was being a complete jerk, though I doubt he was being anything more than his usual goofy self. After about 5 drinks, we decided to go. It was more of my choice. I really wanted to dance, but I didn't like the crowd and I was tired and grumpy anyway.
In the car, he was rambling about something or another. The more he went on, the more upset I got. I'm not one to be upset publicly in a loud way. I let it boil inside me until the tears start streaming down my cheeks and even then they are the most silent tears you will ever come across. When they finally started rolling, he was talking about strippers. I don't have anything against strippers. But he said something along the lines of getting a stripper pole for me and I remember thinking why bother when you won't touch me anyway, and that's when I started crying. It took him a few minutes to notice, and when he finally did I couldn't stay quiet anymore. The sobs came on and that's how it went until we got home, me crying and him asking me why I was crying.
At home, I was still crying too much to talk so I stripped down and put on my nightie and went to bed. He followed, trying to coax me to say something, asking politely then threatening me with tickles. Finally, he spooned in behind me and curled me into his chest, petting me like an animal. I don't know why I was so upset or why I felt the way I did, but when I could speak I blubbered on about how he didn't want me and shouldn't have asked me to move in if he didn't want to be my boyfriend and so on and so on.
Yikes. Let's just say period and alcohol and being upset do not mix so well. I don't really remember what happened after that, but somehow I ended up on top. I always end up on top when I'm upset, especially if I'm crying. Maybe it's a liberation thing...I don't know.
But the next morning I was fine and we talked about it slightly and the world went back to it's normal self.
Then sat night I drank a bunch of Midori sours and when Bobby asked me to do a shot (since I am the shot champion around here) I threw it back up. Yeah, I'm sure my shots days truly are coming to an end. The rum was such a harsh tasted compared to my super tart sours I just could not keep it down. Talk about gagging. That's the first time I've ever not been able to do a shot and I felt shamed for it :-/
I guess it's time to only drink girly drinks...
On brighter news, it seems I'm not the only one with a boyfriend that it a little conservative in the bedroom. I was talking to a new acquaintance the other day and she was going on how her bf would be completely fine only having sex once a week. I was flabbergasted! I thought I was the only one! So we spent the afternoon bonding over our non-freaky sex lives and how both of our guys had such low sex drives. Later, I was talking to another friend and she said her boyfriend said it was an age difference. He's a couple years older than her and doesn't want to have sex everyday the way he used to and TJ is 4 years older than me and it's like cutting teeth to let him know I'm feeling horny. You know, people say that guys are the horndogs, but I beg to differ. All my girlfriends seem to want sex more than their boyfriends. It's the darnest thing!
I think I would be okay with less sex if I got more makeouts. I was made to kiss and TJ doesn't like kissing. He says it's for teenagers and that drives me freaking insane. I don't understand his logic. I'm telling you, I get more drunken makeouts from Math than I do from him. I think this is the source of my blubbering the other night. Stuff like that makes me feel rejected, even though I know he's not rejecting me. Though I want it more often than he does, I'd say we have a pretty healthy sex life. But still, I need more kisses! Teenagers...? I really don't understand his logic
scullerymaid at 12:37 p.m.