November 23, 2011
Family feast
Thanksgiving with my friends last night was a hit. We ate much later then intended and a few people didn't show up, but overall I think things were swell. And of course, everyone got to meet TJ...and they liked him. I felt bad that I dragged him to this side of the water so early, but I had to get my birds in the oven. But after that was done and we got ourselves a snack, I could tell he was getting antsy. The only people hanging with us until about 8 were Artist and Justina and he gets bored so easily. Plus, I didn't realize how many girls we would be hanging out with. I think he was hoping for a littler more testosterone, haha. So after I while I whisked him away to my place so he coudl breathe a little (and make his brownies because the oven was full), which surprisingly turned into a little quickie in my bedroom. It was the second time he has ever been to my place and the first time we've ever down anything at my place. I could get use to the bigger bed. But that's off topic. It was just a really good night spending time with everyone. I was happy with how everything turned out, especially since this was probably officially our last year together. Maybe, maybe not. Guess we'll see where we've all scattered to next year.
I wonder where I'll be next year. Will I go off somehwere with Popeguy like we always planned, or maybe I'll stay with Math. Will I have decided to get a real job or will I finally give grad school a go? As embarrassed as I am to say it, I wish I could just stay with TJ. You know, I don't know why I feel the way I do. Lord knows we have our issues, issues that are sometimes big and sometimes not worth mentioning. Issues that sometimes make me want to jump in my car and leave. And yet, I never make it past the driveway. The old me, the one that beleived in magic and love and friendship likes to think there's a reason I don't get up and go. That maybe I'm supposed to be here with this man as difficult as he can be. Then the rational side of me tsks and shakes my head and urges me to stop thinking so foolishly. Foolish thoughs lead to heartache and disappointment, right?
And yet, thinking about him makes me smile and wish I was there instead of here. Ahh, I need to stop gushing, don't I? But the only thing standing between me and utter contenment is his relationship phobia. I wish I was the committment phobe instead. Now that I've introduced him to my friends I think I'm even more determined to make this thing work.
Okay, enough rambling. Tomorrow the two of us are doing lunch with my family and dinner with his. We'll see how that goes.
scullerymaid at 3:23 p.m.