November 07, 2011
Taste
TJ and I haven't been talking that much for the last couple days. This is both wird and normal and I've thought a lot about it and have brushed it off. To me it means everything and yet it means nothing. There's no sense in thinking about how we're not talking. I've never been one for texting all that much anyway. After you get to know someone, it loses it's magic and conversationas are best kept for in person. And yet I miss knowing how his day is going. But really I just need to get these thoughts out of my head!
I did invite myself over yesterday after seeing if he had any plans. We watched the game (my poor Redskins keep losing!), had what he called "happy time" haha, cooked dinner, and watch a gory movie which was absolutely disgusting and I can't believe he made me watch it. So I made him watch Salad Fingers on Youtube which has always given me the creeps, but it backfired on me because he thought it was just boring and then proceeded to mimic the voice. Eep! Overall, it was a good night. We cuddled on the couch and played Dirt3 and talked some. He mentioned bringing me to his parents for Thanksgiving, which actually did surprise me a bit. But I have been complaining how the annual dinner with my frineds most likely isn't going to happen so perhaps he's taken initiative.
I don't know why I worry so much. I always think he's not going to want to see me anymore or that one day he's going to send me away, but he's usually the one that talks about things we're going to do in the future. He doesn't seem in any rush to berid me, and yet when he's silent that's what I always think. Maybe because all those other guys were such asses I'm paranoid now. Whatever. I may be the one with all the worries and fears, but I think he likes my company more than I like his. When we first started dating I commented in an entry how I think I bring a bit of laughter and sunshine to his life (I am quite the goofy gal after all) and I think that still holds true dispite our off moments.
His friend Frank asked to move in this coming April when his lease is up. TJ was entertaining the idea, but I don't think he'll really do it. I actually think it's a bad idea. Just last month he was complaining about how the guy comes over all the time, and just last night he told him not to come hang out with us. If he sees Frank too often without them living under the same roof, how is he going to handle him 24/7 might I ask? But I guess we'll see what happens.
Also, I went to a wedding on Saturday. My first Jewish wedding. I thought the ceremony was a little too informal and the reception a little formal, but I still enjoyed it. I was Popeguy's plus 1 and we met this lovely couple that graduated from CNU a few years back. They are both teachers and it kind of put that thought back in my head. Who knows where I'll end up. As bad as it sounds, it kind of depends on Popeguy and TJ. Popeguy and I had always planned on leaving together, but if he goes to California I am not going. I don't like Cali and have no intention of living there. Plus who knows what will happen between TJ and I. Perhaps nothing serious...we have enough problems as it is, but you truly never no. Those problems will either break us or make us.
Since I haven't come up with a plan of my own I might as well follow someone else's adventure for a bit and taste what I can taste.
scullerymaid at 11:16 a.m.