November 01, 2011
Lydia
Today Popeguy and I had an interesting conversation about marriage. Saturday one of his friends is getting married and we're attending so I guess that's what started it all. He said the more people that he sees getting married, the less he wants to get married. With weddings happening all over the place, I told him I felt the opposite. The more weddings I attend, the more I wish I was getting married.
He said it was a matter a maturity. He feels like he has so much more to learn and accomplish...how could he possibly know that he had found the one. In a way, I can agree with this. I constantly ask myself how do you know? Is there a special feeling you get with one person that you don't get with another, or can you love multiple people and consequently have multiple potential life partners? Once upon a time I believed in things like soulmates and only getting married once and only truly loving one person. Perhaps that is the way things go, but really, how do you know? Recently, my ideals have shifted a little. Maybe love and soulmatism are more like things that need to be nurtured. You know, maybe it's not something that just happens. Is it possible that it doesn't actually matter which people are put together as long as they're put together? I mean, of course there are factors like attraction that come into play, and a degree of compatibility. But other than that...
Who knows. Sometimes I think of Fiddler on the Roof and how Tevye and Golde were just kinda put together. Remember the song where he asks if she loves him? Is that how love really works? They didn't love enachother upon getting married I'm guessing, but after 20 years together raising a family that is certainly what developed between them. I don't know. Those were just my thought today.
When I get married, I want to have a simple country wedding where sangria and apple cider are served in mason jars. I want my centerpieces to be homemade and listen to a live band playing bluegrass all night long. I want there to be buffets of barbque and fried cauliflower and chicken and mac n cheese and biscuits and all those good comfort foods. I want to get married barefoot outside under the stars. I want a nice simple wedding- nothing fancy.
TJ is the only guy I've dated so far that would approve of this wedding theme. But of course, I doubt I'll be marrying TJ. Even my grandmother told me she didn't think he sounded like one I should want to be marrying. But you never know. Even with the ups and downs, there's something that draws me to TJ and I could see myself with him for a long time.
Honestly, I think it's because in a way he reminds me of Popeguy. Of course, they are nothing alike at all- except in the way they push me to do more, be better, and excell. They both treat me the same, both trying to drive me to action, which both makes me love and hate the two of them. I wonder if thye would get along?
scullerymaid at 5:35 p.m.