October 23, 2011
Come back
Zach called me the other night. I thought he was in Iraq, and was going to be for the better part of a year. Apparently he was brought back last wednesday four months early. And he was looking for a booty call. How convenient that TJ was out of town. How easily it would be to slip back into bad habits, you know, seeing that I've never technically been in a commited relationship.
But I said no :-D
I'm so proud of myself. Maybe it doesn't really sound like that big of a deal, but for me it is. I am a monogamous creature! I love TJ, have been thinking about him all week, exchanging little moments over the phone while he endures his travels to Pennsylvania (which sounds more like heaven to me than hell). I wish I was there with him splitting wood. It makes me long to live in a cabin in the woods and I wouldn't mind if he was in that picture for awhile.
There was a second when I considered Zach. Maybe more of a microsecond where I wondered if it was in my nature to be with only one person. I have done a lot of dating and this whole love thing has put me through some stressful momments. I won't deny that. Sometimes I wonder if it's better to date around and not love.
But no. Like I said the other day, I quite enjoy the ups and downs of getting to know someone, of developing feelings, of falling in love, heartache and bliss blended together.
Zach is mt past. TJ is my present. I don't want anyone else. Thank you much.
I can't wait for him to get back. I saw him last on Wednesday, then Friday he left for PA with his mother and Thomas to help out his grandparents (both of them have managed to break a couple bones in the past couple weeks...imagine that!). He'll be back Tuesday, but he soesn't know how late. Hoefully not too too late. I would love it if he got in around 6! But I plan on going over anyway.
scullerymaid at 9:30 p.m.